"I have enough money for this semester. I don't need IT,"said I.
"The living cost in Shanghai is so high. IT will come in very handy. Besides, IT's cold and damp in winter here, so you'd better buy a warm and thick coat," he said in a hoarse voice.
I nodded, tears welling into my eyes.
WITh a smile, he encouragingly patted me on the shoulder and said; "Don't cry, enjoy your campus life but don't forget to work hard."
简 评
何样菊同学的这篇作文虽然不长，但情真意切。字里行间洋溢着兄妹之间的深情厚谊。对于记叙哥哥送她上大学这段经历时，作者只截取了最后分别的一段，因而显得重点突出。作者没有用煽情的词句和动人的语言，但通过对人物的细节描写，如外貌、表情等，就很好地渲染出了兄长对妹妹的无私关怀。
作者的语言地道，用词精炼生动，显示了作者不凡的语言功底。作者对文体知识也有较好的了解，在交谈中使用了一些口语中的词汇和词组，显得人物对话更加亲切生动，真实可信。
作者在这篇短文中不仅融入了自己的真情实感，而且运用了灵活的写作技巧，使文章显得光彩夺目，是一篇不可多得的佳作。
(点评教师：孙东云)
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